


Broken

by kumiko12a



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Break up through text, Depression Is Mentioned, Kagami is an asshole in this, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unhappy Ending, breaking up, heartbroken Aomine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-12-18 03:56:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumiko12a/pseuds/kumiko12a
Summary: Aomine was clearly more invested in this relationship than Kagami was. After all, he broke up with him over text.





	1. Beyond Repair

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains suicidal ideations and follow through. If this is a trigger for you or makes you uncomfortable, please turn back.

Aomine shook his head, vision blurring as he tried to read the screen of his phone. His lips twisted into a grimace of pain as he read and re-read the message over and over and over. _-I'm sorry Daiki. It's just not working.-_ was all he got before the love of his life walked out. A fucking text message. Kagami hadn't even had the balls to tell him in person. He stood there dumbly, blinking back tears as he tried to process what had happened. He desperately went through the last few weeks of their relationship, looking for any hint that something was wrong. They'd been fine the day before, going to the court to play some ball with the others. His eyes wide, his chest heaved, trying to bring in enough air to let him breathe. But he couldn't. It hurt too much to breathe. He didn't know what he did, or why Kagami had chosen to end it this way.

He let out a snarl and ferociously typed out a response. _-Why? What did I do?-_ He knew he sounded desperate, but he had to know. It just didn't make any sense to him. The phone buzzed in his hand, letting him know he had a reply. Aomine sucked in a breath and looked down at the device, seeing Kagami's name on the notifications list. _-Your depression made you too hard to love. It was making me depressed too. I just wasn't happy anymore.-_ Aomine couldn't believe what he was reading. He was too hard to love? His face scrunched up as he tried to fight back the sobs shaking his body. _-Can't we talk about this? I've been doing better, I've been taking my medication so I'm not as moody! Please Taiga, don't do this. I'll do whatever you want, just... let me have another chance!-_ He knew he was begging at this point. He scoffed wetly at the thought of him, Aomine Daiki, begging for his relationship to not end. He suddenly snarled, hurling his phone across the room watching as it bounced off the wall. He didn't need to see the reply to know that Kagami had told him no. He stood in the middle of his room, shaking from pain and anger. He didn't know what to do, so he dropped to his knees in the middle of his room and let everything go. He was glad his parents both had late meetings, so he was alone in the house. An hour later saw him curled up on his side, staring blankly at the door to his room. His eyes were red and raw from crying, his voice hoarse from screaming. He didn't feel anything now. He just felt numb. Like someone had doused him in freezing cold water and he just couldn't get warm again. He heard his phone buzz against the wall where it had come to rest. Slowly picking himself up off the floor he trudged over to it, picking it up and looking at the screen. There was a dent in the corner, but otherwise it seemed to be okay. If he was in a better mood he might have been impressed by the workmanship. But whatever feeling he had left dropped into the pit of his stomach. On the screen was a message from Kagami, sent after his last effort to retain his disintegrating relationship. _-It's not worth it. You'll never be normal and I just can't deal with it. We can still be friends though.-_

It was like someone had punched him in the gut. He knew the last couple years had been rough for those who knew him. He'd pushed them all away, becoming a giant prick to everyone around him. He'd been trying for Kagami though. He'd gone on antidepressants to help with his mood swings and he'd even gone back to practice. He thought he'd been saved by an angel. But clearly this angel was nothing more than a devil in disguise. Anger flashed through him, quick and hot. He threw on his jacket and ran down the stairs, stopping briefly to pull on his shoes and then he was out the door. Jogging down the street almost on autopilot. He was headed for Kagami's. He'd make that asshole say it to his face, make him see how much of a mess he'd made Aomine into. Maybe then he'd realize it was a terrible mistake and take everything back. He felt a sneer fall into place on his lips as he rounded the corner to Kagami's apartment. Aomine charged up the stairs, taking them two at a time before he reached the door and started banging on it. He could hear Kagami grumbling on the other side and his breath froze in his throat. He started to panic, realizing what a terrible idea this had been. He turned to leave just as the door opened, Kagami's dark red stare burning into him. “Aomine?” He winced at the use of his family name, rather than his given. Turning back to face Kagami, he let his usual smirk fall into place. The one he used when he was trying to hide his true emotions. “I figured I would give you a chance to change your mind. Or at least tell me in person instead of over a text message.” Aomine's face was flat, so deadpan even Kuroko would be proud. There was an edge in his voice that hinted at barely restrained anger, but Kagami was oblivious to it. He sighed and shook his head. “I'm not changing my mind Aomine. It's too hard and neither of us is happy.” Aomine stared at him in shock before the anger burst forth, venom dripping in his tone. “Since when do you get to decide whether I'm happy or not? Last I checked, **I** was Aomine Daiki, not you.” his lips had pulled back in a snarl unconsciously, Kagami's eyes widening a bit as he realized how furious Aomine was. “Look you should probably go. It's late and your parents are probably wondering where you are.”

Aomine snorted, face devoid of any emotion. He opened his mouth to retort something about him caring after all, when a familiar voice sounded from behind the door. “Taiga what's taking so long? Who's here?” Kagami turned and told the voice to go back into the living room, that he was almost done. Aomine's snarl had become nearly feral, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. And just like that, all the pain and anger from earlier flooded into him again. “Just friends huh?” he said, so softly the other male nearly missed it. Kagami took a step toward him, holding his hand out. “Daiki wait, it's not what you think. He's just staying here while he's in town. There's nothing going on.” Aomine recoiled away from him, tears welling in his eyes again. “No, I get it. I'm too difficult so you moved on to something easier. Didn't even wait for the metaphoric ink to dry. I'm sorry I brought so much difficulty to your life. You won't have to worry about it ever again.” He finished speaking and turned, walking quickly down the stairs and away from the apartment. Kagami's voice floated after him, calling for him to come back and calm down. Aomine ignored him, retreating home as quickly as he could, tears sliding down his face.

As soon as he got within sight of his house, he saw a familiar head of pink hair sitting on his front steps. He slowed down and groaned, he didn't want to deal with Satsuki and her incessant babbling right now. He quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeves and cleared his throat, the action causing Satsuki's head to shoot up in surprise. “Careful, you might give yourself whiplash doing that.” he said gruffly, trying to get past her without actually looking at her. “Dai-chan...” her voice was soft, like she was talking to a wounded animal. He faltered in his steps as she reached out, grabbing the edge of his jacket. “Kagamin told me what happened. He's worried about you.” Aomine snorted, and shook off her hand. “Yea right Satsuki. The only thing that guy cares about is where he's getting his dick wet next.” She grabbed at his sleeve again and his face twisted into a grimace of annoyance. “Satsuki, really I'm fine. Just go home. I want to be alone.” She let go hesitantly, pink eyes peering up at him pensively. “If you're sure...” He nodded and waved her off. “Promise.” he said shortly before he went inside and closed the door, his back hitting it softly as he slid to the floor. He drew in a shaky breath as the tears came again. Aomine withdrew to his room, crawling into his bed right away and pulling the covers over his head. Maybe if he went to sleep, he would wake up and it would all just be a bad dream.

Morning came, reminding him that it was indeed true. He was too difficult for Kagami to love. He stared blankly at the ceiling and contemplated everything Kagami had said the night before. If Kagami couldn't love him, the guy who he had thought was a real life angel, then how must his other friends feel. He heard a light knock on his door and grunted, assuming it was Satsuki coming to get him for school. He watched as the pink head stuck it's way around the door and eyed him cautiously. “Dai-chan, are you up to school today?” she asked softly, not wanting to upset him again. He stared at her blankly for a minute before turning onto his side. “Go to school Satsuki. I'm not going today.” He heard her sigh and then it went quiet. He closed his eyes again as he thought she'd left, only to be startled by her weight settling down beside him and her slim arms coming to rest around his blanket covered body. “I know it hurts right now Dai-chan, but I promise it'll get better. Kagamin is stupid for letting you go.” she hugged her friend tightly and patted his head. “I'll tell the teacher you have a cold.” she said quietly before getting up off the bed. Once last glance at her friend, holed up in his bed looking for all the world like his best friend had just died, and she left the room closing the door gently behind her.

Aomine breathed a sigh of relief as she left the room. He rolled back onto his back and once again stared at nothing, thoughts rolling around in his head. Ones he'd thought he'd gotten rid of. He was nothing but a nuisance to everyone around him. He grimaced and shook his head. The more he thought about it, the more he realized Kagami was probably right. He was too difficult to love. It would explain why only Satsuki went out of her way to talk to him, and half the time he swore she didn't even want to do that. He frowned and sat up slowly. His parents, Satsuki, the GoM, Kagami. They would all be better off without him around to screw everything up. But he could fix it. He could make everything alright again. No one would ever have to worry about him again and they could all continue with their lives. Without him fucking it all up. He got out of bed, a determined, almost manic glint in his eyes. Making his way over to his desk, he sat down. Quickly he penned out 3 letters. One to his parents, one to Satsuki and the GoM and the final one to Kagami. In all three he thanked them for everything they'd done for him, but it was just too much. He couldn't keep asking for them to put up with his moods and constantly cater to him. He'd tried to turn everything around on his own, but he'd ended up losing the person most important to him. Aomine apologized in the letter, saying he was sorry for not being a better son/friend/boyfriend. That he was sorry he made it so difficult to love him. That he wasn't worthy of being loved by anyone. He told them all how much they meant to him and that he was sorry it had to be this way. Tears were streaming down his face as he closed all three letters, taking them into the dining room and setting them down where his parents would see them. It was the last thing he would ask of them, to give the remaining two letters to their intended readers. He took one last glance around his family home, tears dried and his face emotionless once more. And then he left. Leaving his phone upstairs in his room, along with his wallet and keys.

He took his basketball with him, wearing his favourite pair of Jordans and played some ball by himself for a little while. He hummed to himself, feeling surprisingly light despite his plans. He smiled to himself. This was the court him and Kagami came to all the time when they were together. He made one last formless shot and then set the ball under the hoop. It was time. He set out, head down and hands in his pockets. He made his way to the bridge he used to hunt for critters under when he was young. It was high enough that it would kill him on impact, no accidental survivals. He stepped up onto the ledge of the bridge, feeling oddly at peace. One hand on the rail behind him, he looked out over the edge. He turned so his back was facing the edge. And with all his strength, he shoved himself off. His eyes closed as he fell, not hearing the shrill scream of his name from above. He briefly felt the impact before everything went black and he felt nothing anymore. The fall into the water had snapped his neck on impact.


	2. Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami tries to deal with Aomine's death.

Kagami stared blankly at the water, watching the sun shine almost blindly off the small waves. Dull red eyes were fixed on the spot they were dragging Aomine's still form from. His cell phone was still grasped loosely in his hand, a shiver coursing through him despite the warm sun and the sweatshirt he was wearing. No thoughts ran through his head currently. He was still too shocked to process anything. He was dimly aware of someone asking if he was alright, if he needed to see a doctor. He shook his head slowly, eyes still trained on the divers. Fingers tightened around his phone, any tighter and it would shatter. He didn't know how to feel right now. He was angry at Aomine for leaving, but he'd left him first hadn't he? This was his fault, his doing. If he'd been more patient with him, less judgmental, he'd still be here. His eyes scrunched shut as he took in a shaky breath, a low keen starting in the back of his throat.

 

“Kagami-kun.” a soft, nearly emotionless voice said from somewhere near his elbow. His eyes snapped open as he startled, not used to Kuroko scaring him anymore. He looked down at his friend, red eyes tearing up at the look of despair on his face. “We heard and came right away. We thought you would be here.” Kagami stared at him in confusion until he heard a loud sob and a shrill “Dai-chan!” from behind him. He spun just in time to catch Momoi as she started to run down to the water. “Don't Momoi. You don't want to remember him like this.” he said as he pulled her into a hug, nearly crushing her to his chest as her body heaved with sobs. He buried his face in her hair and dissolved into tears himself. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He hadn't wanted to drive Aomine to his grave. He'd only wanted a normal life, one where he didn't have to constantly worry about his partner. Kagami gave a bitter snort and bit his bottom lip. Well he got one thing he wanted, he no longer had to worry about Aomine.

 

He'd gone with the other two to Aomine's parent's house that evening. Aomine's mother had called him and asked him if he could come, that Daiki had left something for him. She'd begun to sob uncontrollably over the line at the mention of her late son's name. His father took the phone from her and told Kagami that Momoi and Kuroko would be coming as well. His hand faltered as he stood on the door step, about to ring the bell. Kuroko looked up at the distraught look on his friend's face and reached out, ringing the bell for him. Kagami shot him a grateful look just before the door opened, revealing Aomine's father, his eyes red and swollen from crying. Aomine-san reached out and pulled Kagami into a rough embrace, patting his shoulder awkwardly as if he were trying to comfort the boy in front of him. Kagami cleared his throat and lightly patted his back, carefully extracting himself. “Aomine-san, I'm so sorry for your loss.” Kuroko said from beside him, briefly startling both of them. Aomine-san grunted in acknowledgment before he stood to the side and allowed all three of them in.

 

Momoi had been silent up to this point, but once she saw Aomine's mother, her eyes teared up and she let out a screeching keen and went running to her. “Mio-san!! I'm so sorry I couldn't stop him. He seemed fine that morning. I'm so sorry!!!” she wailed, clutching the older woman as she sobbed. “It's all my fault! I was the last one to see him, I should have stayed!” Aomine's mother, Mio, held the shaking girl and murmured teary reassurances into her ear as she rocked her on the sofa. Kagami turned his eyes away, his hand clenching into a fist as Momoi babbled on about how she could have stopped him. Aomine-san tapped Kagami on the shoulder, holding out an envelope addressed to him. It was Daiki's writing. He'd recognize his chicken-scratch anywhere. He took it carefully, debating on whether he should open it now or later. “Open it later son, when you have some privacy.” the older Aomine cautioned him, seeming to understand what was in the letter. Kagami simply nodded and turned to look at Kuroko, who had also been given one. Kuroko had opened it and begun to read, his eyes growing wider and more watery the more he read. By the time he'd reached the end of the letter, his hands were shaking and he was barely holding the tears back. He looked up as Kagami put his hand on his shoulder, tilting his head as if asking if he were okay. “Momoi shouldn't see this right now.” he stated simply, his voice low enough that only the two of them could hear it. He held out the letter with a grim expression. “Please keep it with you Kagami-kun. I would rather not have her any more hysterical than she currently is. It would be bad for her health.” Kagami nodded and put both letters in his jacket. His jacket felt heavier by the added weight of the two letters, but he knew it was a psychological weight. He didn't want to read what Daiki had to say to him. But he didn't want to go on not knowing what had gone through his head. He sighed and excused himself from the home, a promise to return in a few days spoken as he left.

 

He stared blankly at the train wall, wishing that it would take forever to get home so he wouldn't have to read it. He pulled out the envelope again and stared at it, fingers idly tracing the rough lines of the kanji forming his name. At least he hadn't written it in Katakana this time. Too soon the announcement told him he was at his stop. He shuffled off the train and turned toward his apartment. His cold, empty apartment. The one that would never see Aomine's stupid grin when he makes him his favourite food. Would never hear him curse Kagami for being better at video games than him. That would never again have the front door mistreated as Aomine banged on it to be let in. Kagami dug the heel of his hand into one of his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay at least until he got inside. He jogged the last bit to his apartment and burst through his door just as they started to stream down his face. He slowly made his way to the sofa and sat down, staring at the letter again. He sighed deeply and opened it, slowly beginning to read what was written on the pristine white surface;

_  
_ _Taiga._

 

_Not much I can say. I know you're going to be really angry with me, but you'll get over it. Just like you got over us so fast._

 

_I love you, despite everything that's happened in the last few weeks, I love you. It hurts the most when I think about what I'm about to put you through, but you have to understand. We were doomed to fail. I'm not mentally equipped to deal with this. I lost basketball and you ripped yourself away from me too. I drove all of my friends away with my arrogance and mood swings. It shouldn't surprise me that no one could love me. I'm an unlovable person. You're right though, I should have been more aware of my moods. Maybe I wouldn't be sitting here writing this if I had been. Maybe if I was smarter, less arrogant, less confrontational, you wouldn't have decided it was too hard to love me. Maybe if I'd been more affectionate with you, you wouldn't have turned your back. Not that I blame you, honestly. If I were you, I probably would have done it sooner. I guess that sort of makes me a hypocrite huh? Well, either way, you don't have to worry about it anymore._

 

_Anyway, I know I have no right to ask this, but I need a favour. I need you to keep going with basketball. If not for your own sake, then for mine. I know it's selfish to ask, but I can't help it. I just want you to be happy. This is the only way I could think of to set you free._

 

_I love you, I'm sorry. Please don't hate me forever._

_Daiki_

 

_PS: I'm sorry it had to be this way._

 

Kagami stared at the paper, tears dripping from wide eyes onto it. He didn't know what to think. Daiki had done this all because he thought he was unworthy of being loved. His face twisted into an expression of pure despair as he realized he really had driven Daiki to his grave. He began to sob again, holding the letter against his chest and rocking against the sofa. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Daiki.” was repeatedly whispered between sobs. He didn't go to school the next day. Or the day after that. He slowly began to isolate himself from his friends and the rest of the miracles. It was his fault Daiki was gone, so why should he be allowed to be happy? Kuroko tried to approach him, especially when he quit the basketball team. Even trying to use Aomine as a way to keep him there. He could see how hard Aomine's death had been on his best friend. And he knew that Kagami blamed himself for it.

 

Days passed and the season changed. Summer became Autumn, and Kagami fell further into his isolation. Even though Kuroko and Momoi had tried to convince him that he wasn't to blame, he knew deep down they blamed him for their friend's death. After all, wasn't it his words that had driven Aomine to take his life on the bridge that day? He'd quit the basketball team, deciding that Kuroko and the others didn't need a constant reminder of what they'd lost. He fell into a deep depression and idly wondered if this was how Daiki had felt in the days leading up to his death. Kagami sunk deeper into his blankets and tried to block out the world, eyes shut tight and hands over his ears. He'd had trouble sleeping since he'd read the letter. Sometimes having to rely on sleep aids to put him out. His grades slipped since he had a hard time paying attention in class. Kuroko still tried to bring him back to the basketball team almost daily. Always asking if he was doing okay by himself and telling him to call if he needed anything. He'd mumble an affirmative and go back to staring out the window of the classroom. Kuroko's usually inexpressive face was twisted with a small frown, prompting Furihata to ask if everything was okay. Kuroko just shook his head and continued to watch his partner.

 

It happened so suddenly, he really should have seen through it. Kagami returned to normal one crisp, sunny day. He entered the gym with an exuberant “Yo” and had participated in practice, even though he was no longer on the team. After practice he went to Maji with Kuroko, just like he used to. Kuroko was just happy that Kagami had seemed to lift from his depression. Sadly, that wasn't the case.

 

They found him the next day. Body cold and eyes lifeless. In the end, he'd followed Aomine like he always did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me for this, it's a mix of wanting to see Aomine be the innocent one for once and a cathartic release for myself. This was pulled directly from personal experience. And since I feel more relatable to Aomine, I chose him to be the poor victim in this. Please forgive me for abusing our poor angel! I promise I still love Kagami. Apologies if they both seem OOC. It's one of those situations that normal personalities really wouldn't be present for. At least I don't think so anyway. Also it turned out to be way longer than I thought it was going to be. Whoops? And for the record, I do not think suicide is ever the answer. I know how hard it can be sometimes, I've gone through it so many times that it's a wonder I'm even here still. But if anyone ever needs to talk, please message me on tumblr. I may not be able to answer right away, but I will definitely as soon as I can!
> 
> https://daiki-kakkoi.tumblr.com/


End file.
